Written by: Alexandra "Lexi" Roa, LPCC
In a society that emphasizes our relationships with others, it’s easy to overlook the crucial relationship we have with ourselves. Trust is the cornerstone of all connections. It provides a sense of safety and stability that allows us to engage with others and the world. While we assess our trust in others, we often forget to consider how much we trust ourselves.
Defining Trust
Trust is having confidence in someone or something’s truth, reliability, character, or abilities. We can tell if someone is trustworthy by seeing whether their actions match their words. This takes mindful observation, opportunity, and most of all, time. The same goes for trust in ourselves. We make observations about ourselves, like past decisions and goals, and we can give ourselves opportunities to follow through on what we need. Just like in any relationship, trust with ourselves can be broken and it can be rebuilt.
Self-Trust is essential for:
- Healthy relationships: If we can’t trust ourselves, it makes it difficult to figure out who we can trust around us, which impacts how we connect with others and build our support network.
- Confidence and Self-Esteem: In the absence of trust, we’re left with doubt. Self-doubt is limiting. Assuming we aren’t capable of something might cause us to not to try at all, which will just ensure we don’t reach the outcome we hoped for. When we trust in our capabilities, we have more confidence, and are more likely to take action towards our goals and aspirations.
- Managing Depression: Self-criticism often stems from a lack of self-trust. When we don’t trust ourselves, it’s easy to resort to criticism. Critical self-talk, like “I should’ve known better,” can lower our mood and impact our interactions with others. Practicing self-compassion helps create a supportive internal dialogue that can extend to our relationships.
- Responding to Anxiety: Trusting ourselves also helps us reduce anxiety around the unknown. There are many things that happen outside of our control in our lives - we don’t know how that person will respond when we share how we feel about them, we have to wait on test results from the doctor or an entrance exam, we don’t know how a politician’s decisions will impact our lives - the list goes on. Even if we have to accept this fact, we can find comfort when we trust our ability to respond and show up for ourselves no matter what life throws at us.
- Healing from Trauma: When we experience trauma, trust is broken. We may lose trust in the world, people around us, and even ourselves. We may question if we are capable of keeping ourselves safe, making decisions, or following through on self-care. Rebuilding self-trust is an integral part of restoring (or establishing) a sense of safety and stability in life after trauma.
Building Self-Trust
Here are some strategies to cultivate a trusting relationship with yourself:
Your relationship with yourself is as important as any other and deserves just as much attention and care. By implementing these practices, you can cultivate a healthier, more trusting relationship with yourself, ultimately enhancing your connections with others and promoting an empowered sense of well-being.
If you are interested in working with a therapist on learning how to build self-trust visit our website www.pccounselingcenter.com