Can Couples Therapy Work If Only One Partner Wants It?

When we think about couples therapy, we often picture two people sitting across from a counselor, equally motivated to work through challenges. In reality, many relationships don’t start from that balanced place. Sometimes, one partner is eager to seek help while the other is hesitant, unsure, or even resistant.

It’s a tricky situation—but not an impossible one. While mutual participation can offer the fullest benefits, there are still meaningful ways to make progress if only one person is ready for couples counseling. In fact, starting somewhere, whether that’s with individual therapy or a small joint step—can set the stage for lasting change.

Why One Partner Might Resist Therapy

There are many reasons a partner might hesitate to attend marriage counseling or couples therapy:

· They may not believe the issues are serious enough.

· They might be uncomfortable sharing personal matters with a stranger.

· They could fear being blamed or judged.

· They might have had a negative experience with therapy in the past.

Understanding the “why” behind their reluctance is a valuable first step. This conversation is best approached with curiosity, not confrontation.

The Role of Individual Therapy

If one partner is unwilling to attend couples counseling, starting with individual therapy can still be beneficial. An individual therapist can help you:

· Process your feelings and experiences.

· Learn healthy communication techniques.

· Develop coping strategies for relationship stress.

· Gain clarity about what you want moving forward.

Sometimes, the growth and changes you make in individual therapy naturally influence the relationship dynamic. Your partner may notice the positive shift and become more open to joining you in therapy later.

Framing the Conversation

How you present the idea of therapy matters. If it’s framed as “you need help” or “we have problems,” your partner may become defensive. Instead, frame it as an opportunity to grow together, improve communication, and deepen your connection.

Phrases like:

· “I care about us, and I think this could help us be even stronger.”

· “It’s important to me that we both feel heard and understood.”

· “Would you be open to trying one session to see what it’s like?”

By keeping the focus on shared goals and benefits, you reduce the pressure and stigma that can sometimes surround marriage counseling.

Small Steps Toward Couples Counseling

If your partner is open to experimenting, suggest starting with:

· A single couples therapy consultation.

· Reading a relationship book together.

· Attending a workshop or seminar on communication.

· Scheduling a short video session instead of an in-person appointment.

Sometimes, lowering the barrier to entry makes it easier for a hesitant partner to take that first step.

When Only One Partner Participates

It’s true that couples counseling works best when both partners attend—but therapy with just one partner can still help:

· You can learn strategies to improve interactions at home.

· You can address your own triggers and responses.

· You can gain perspective on unhealthy patterns.

· You can create a healthier emotional environment, which can influence your partner over time.

Many individual therapists are skilled at helping clients navigate complex relationship situations, even without direct involvement from the other partner.

Signs It Might Be Time to Transition to Couples Therapy

As you work on yourself, you may notice signs that your partner is becoming more receptive to joint sessions:

· They start asking questions about what you’ve learned in therapy.

· They express curiosity about your counselor’s suggestions.

· They show willingness to try new communication strategies.

This is a good time to revisit the idea of marriage counseling or couples counseling together.

What to Expect if You Go Alone

Going into individual therapy when you wanted couples therapy can feel disappointing at first—but it doesn’t have to be a setback. In fact, many relationships improve simply because one partner chooses to work on their own emotional health.

Your therapist can help you:

· Identify your needs and boundaries.

· Respond to conflict in calmer, more constructive ways.

· Communicate more effectively.

· Build resilience for navigating challenges.

Even without joint sessions, these changes can shift the relationship toward a healthier place.

Final Thoughts

Yes—couples therapy can work even if only one partner initially wants it. While both people participating offers the richest results, meaningful growth can still happen when one person commits to doing the work. Starting with individual therapy is often the best path forward, providing tools, clarity, and confidence to either improve the relationship from within or pave the way for future couples counseling.

The important thing is to focus on what you can control—your actions, your mindset, and your willingness to grow. Over time, your partner may see the benefits and join you. And even if they don’t, you’ll have invested in your own emotional well-being and gained skills that will serve you in all relationships.